ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
