I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
