Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
