She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
