my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
