how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
