apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
