the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
