Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
