He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
