He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
