come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
