Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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