if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
