we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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