In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I need to stop coming to work sober
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
