Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
