i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize