he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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