I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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