16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
