at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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