Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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