JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
