My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
