Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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