spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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