no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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