You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
