i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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