so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
