Barsexuality is the new black.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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