O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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