I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
