Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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