Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
