im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize