Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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