oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i have two assholes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
