Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
