If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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