My friends, they love my intelligence
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
