So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I lost the right to judge tonight
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
