He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
