Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You are the jesus of drinking
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
