We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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