I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
