So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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