never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
