the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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