I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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