Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize