i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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