last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
