um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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