the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
