Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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