You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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