Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
there is glitter all over my balls
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