I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
