Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
