I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
