a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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