we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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