Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
