I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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