Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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