bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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