windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize