I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
