I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
