I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
