I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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