So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
