Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize