Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
