It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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