I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
