windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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