so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My breasts were aching with rage.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
