Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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