Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
