how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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